Kairos moments

This article has popped up several times on my Facebook news feed (yes, I have returned!), so I thought I'd share it here too. It's a very well-written and humorous article about all the well-meaning but unsolicited advice some of us moms get from total strangers and the effect it has on our psyches.

Mainly the author points out that there's no need to feel pressured to cherish EVERY moment with your child. There will be moments of frustration, anxiety and even anger, which are only exacerbated by mommy guilt. For whatever reason, we feel like we should be happy and joyful all the time and that's just not a realistic goal. It's enough to at least recognize the good times when they happen and allow those moments to sustain us through the not-so good times.

I'm lucky that I get to experience these moments twice-over--once when they happen and then again when I relay them to my husband. Seeing his joy and pride when I tell him about our daughter's exploits makes me feel good not only because it makes him feel good, but it also makes me feel like I'm doing something right. So even if she refused to eat anything but goldfish crackers all day, the fact that she can sing 'Rock-a-bye Baby' to her dollies more than makes up for it.

Open Letter to Melissa and Doug

Dear Melissa and Doug,

Let me begin by saying what a big fan I am of your company and your products. Every Melissa and Doug item I've ever purchased has been of extremely high quality and has provided countless hours of entertainment for my child and others who have receive the toys as gifts. That said, I was a bit disappointed with the "Nina Ballerina" magnetic doll that my daughter received for Christmas this year. My issue is not with the quality but rather with the variety of accessories included--or lack thereof. I recently purchased the "Joey" magnetic doll for my nephew and realized that he has a wider variety of costume options than Nina does. Joey can take on any number of different roles, such as a knight or a police officer, whereas Nina is limited to only being a ballerina. I understand that her name should have been an indicator of the types of outfits that would be included, but I am curious as to why you did not provide as great a variety of clothes for her. Why can't she wear a doctor's coat or even a police officer's uniform like Joey does? Not only would such options give girls greater opportunities for the pretend play that the toy is meant to encourage, but it would also help to reinforce that girls are not limited in their career choices merely because of their gender. In fact, even Joey's outfit choices are a bit gender-biased. Why can't he dress as a nurse or a teacher or take on some other role traditionally occupied by women?

Most of your other toys are fairly gender-neutral, which is why the differences between the Nina and Joey dolls really stood out to me. The fact that you make any sort of "doll" that is geared toward boys is already a step in the right direction, in my opinion. I appreciate you taking my comments into account and look forward to seeing what other sorts of great-quality products your company will produce in the future.

Sincerely,

Attorney Mom

The Legacy of Ignorance

This article made me realize something: It's funny how much we impose our own moral judgments on our kids. I think we forget about childrens' inherent innocence and in fact corrupt that innocence by making a perfectly natural process, like breastfeeding, seem akin to watching porn. We forget that kids pick up on everything that we say and in some cases what we don't say. The fact that some people are uncomfortable with witnessing a woman breastfeeding in a public place or on a TV show teaches kids that there is something wrong or bad about it, which is simply untrue.

Maybe it goes beyond this though. Maybe our culture has become so sexualized that any depiction of a breast, no matter the context, is considered to be sexual. In fact, the article seems to suggest that the mere allusion to the breast is enough to cause an uproar. According to the CDC, nearly 75% of American women have breastfed their children at one point or another, so maybe it's about time we start drawing a distinction.

New Year, New Attitude

Lately I've become inspired by the lyrics to a few classic songs--namely those on the Eagles Greatest Hits CD (cheesy, I know). A few in particular have stood out:

"Take it easy/Take it easy/Don't let the sound of your own wheels make you crazy/Lighten up while you still can/Don't even try to understand/Just find a place to make your stand/And take it easy." (Title should be obvious to anyone remotely familiar with the Eagles' repetoire)

"It seems to me some fine things/have been laid upon your table/But you only want the ones/you can't get..." (Desperado)

ADDED 1/18: "So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains/and we never even know we have the key..." (Already Gone)

These lyrics in conjunction with some other inspirational messages and some heartfelt conversations with my husband have helped me to form a new outlook for the new year. From now on, I pledge to do my best. That's it. Just do my best in everything that I do--whether it's applying for jobs, maintaining friendships, or caring for my daughter. I'm sure some days will be better than others, but I'm confident that as long as I keep this goal in mind I can finish out the year happier and more fulfilled than ever before.